Ah. Coffeeshops. Inhabited by the terminally wired, the gawkingly stupid, the perpetually impatient and the remorselessly picky. Run by the compulsively underachieving. Owned by the morally vacuous.
Yes, the Coffeeshop truly is the bane of human achievement. The sort of place that people believe is a cosy little hideaway from the real world, where they can relax and revel with their follow compatriates as if they were the cast of a popular 90s sitcom. But the reality of this quaint ideal is no match for the often brutal and despicable reality that lies behind the charade. And I'm here to blow the lid of the whole affair. I’m like Deepthroat without the silly, pornographic name.
Because, sad as it is, I work in one.
I'm the guy that gets called up at 6 in the morning on his day off because someone has been called in sick but is too spineless to mount any sort of argument and comes in tired and grumpy. I'm that guy that addresses you in a sleep deprived daze, glaring loathingly at you as you order your Soya Latte, and handing you one made with semi skimmed milk, not entirely sure himself if it was because he deliberately wants to annoy you or if he's just too damn stupid to remember an order placed two minutes previously. I'm the guy that is well educated enough to get a job much better than what he has but is so under ambitious that he stumbled into the first apron he came across and never bothered moving on, no matter how many friends, relatives or chimpanzees started to move up the career ladder. I have no girlfriend, no social life, no where to go and this is my story. I promise it wont be too emo.
Please Note: I won’t mention which coffee shop I work for but I can assure you it is one of the major chains. All the names and locations will also be changed as to protect the innocent and the simple minded.
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