A chance encounter with celebrity

Ah ha! After the hours upon hours of relentless boredom, after the hundreds of bland faced automatons all blending into one another, after the wail of impatient children and, often, fully grown adults, we’ve finally had a celebrity come into our humble and overpriced coffeeshop.
Joe Thomas (aka Simon from The Inbetweeners) made a spectacularly low key entry at around 2 O’clock this afternoon. He shuffled up to the counter, mumbled his order and then quietly left. Only half way through serving did I clock on to why I recognized his face. But by this time it was too late and he was half way up the stairs to our first floor seating area.
“Well fuck that,” I thought. (I’m a fan of The Inbetweeners, if not religiously so. I think it’s a witty and sometimes painfully accurate and awkward slice of probably one of the most uncomfortable times of any mans life, the ages of 16 to 18) I’m not going to let someone of minor celebrity status slip through my hands like I’ve let the rest life’s opportunities. I’m not going sit by and watch as a small slice of show business escapes my day, which, up to that point, had been as stimulating as chewing on a doorknob. I’m going to grab the bull by the horns and take charge of this situation.
So I went upstairs to clean some tables. I was quite nervous as I picked up the empty cups on his table as I’d never talked to someone of the TV before, although I had once held open the cinema door for Rory McGrath (but that’s another, entirely uninteresting, story all together). But it was now or never. I was going to do it. I had built up the courage and I let rip.
“Hey man,” I said, my voice reasonably casual and controlled. “Are you in the Inbetweeners?” He said he was. I said I liked the show. He said thanks. There was a long, awkward silence in which I suspect both of us wished I had never started this conversation. After a while I asked him if they were making anymore. He said there was a new series in March. I said that I was looking forward to it. He said thanks again. We stopped talking.
And that was it. As I walked down the stairs back to my post I realized that celebrities really weren’t that interesting and talking to one is sort of like trying to chat up an attractive girl who you’ve relentlessly facebook stalked but barely understands that you exist. All the praise if one way and they just looked confused and uncomfortable.
Next time someone famous comes in I’m just going to mess up their order and avoid making eye contact with them, just like I do for everyone else.